Digital Imagination

One of the things I have not missed since having my portside poo portal installed is sitting down in a public restroom. I’m sure that many of you, if given the opportunity, would gladly take the opportunity to avoid them as well (I doubt you’d go to such lengths to avoid them however).

What kind of Neanderthals are the people who always seem to go into a public toilet before me? Every single WC I go into has piss on the floor, an unflushed commode, no (or inexplicably wet) toilet paper and a smell that can only be described as “New Orleans” Who are these people? Who is it that goes into a bathroom and decides, “I’m just gonna fuck this up for everyone else.”

Even where I work, at a multi-billion dollar corporation with custodians who clean the john’s hourly, someone has taken to wiping their fecal matter on the wall of the stall. It baffles the mind. Do you hate your job, or just the people who have to clean up your filth? What kind of passive-aggressive low-life do you have to be to wipe your ass and rub it on the wall? Who are you shit-rubber? Is this a statement, some sort or art form you’re inventing called shitfitti? Are you checking for worms?

Does your bathroom at home look like this? If you were at a party, would you just take a giant burrito-laden dump and not flush the toilet? No, because you’re a human being and have an unspoken social contract that says, “we clean up after ourselves.” Even cats have the sense to cover up their crap.

But that’s the part that disturbs me, because some people, when faced with an opportunity to destroy something without fear of repercussion, will rub shit on the walls, or piss on the toilet seat, or do God-knows-what to the toilet paper, for no other reason than to make your life miserable.

So, if there’s any bright side to having this bag, if there’s anything I dread, it’s joining the rest of you in the loo.

“Thank you your Holiness, Awesome Speech.” AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m a freaking Athiest and I would give the Pope more respect than that!

I bet he has a nickname for the Pope as well, something like or “Touchy McPopey” or “Padre Bendover”.

Ben Stein, the duldrum, yet charming personality famous for his monotonous voice and dry humor has a new movie coming out; Expelled : No Intelligence Allowed.

Apparently, Mr. Stein has taken it upon himself to challenge the current “liberal” education establishment that keeps insisting that Evolution explains our existence on this planet. His conjecture is that the current “Big Education” institutions “don’t like the very idea of an intelligent cause because they don’t like the idea of allowing even the possibility of the existence of an intelligent ‘designer.’ That might lead to scientific evidence in support of the unthinkable, i.e. G-O-D.”

The idea here, is that somehow, the education establishment has conspired to keep religion from interfering within a scientific context.

“Fucking Right”, I say.

Not only should proponents of “Intelligent Design” be driven out of our public universities, but they should be rounded up with the dingbats in the Flat Earth Society, pointed at, laughed at and forgotten.

The entire problem with the Creationist movement has not been with their hypothesis; that an intelligent creator envisioned and fabricated the building blocks of existence. I have absolutely no problem with that. What I have a problem with is that the “ID” movement plainly isn’t science. It’s faith. And faith, unfortunately can’t be tested.

See, in order for something to be considered “science”, it must be testable, it must be observable. Science is nothing more than the process of testing a hypothesis. We know evolution has occurred because we have absolute, undeniable, proof. We have tested, and tested, and tested. We have observed it in action, we have seen the missing link.

But Creationism doesn’t rely on proof. It relies on scripture. It doesn’t test, it sues. Creationism is not, and has never been about presenting an alternative view of how the world was created. It has been about smothering the very real, very true scientific principal that “things come from other things”. It is a pseudo-science created because religion felt threatened by the “proof” that humans were not, in fact, created by and perfectly in the likeness of God, but that we evolved from creatures, that evolved from creatures, that evolved from creatures that at one point were in no way similar to us whatsoever.

Creationism has at no point displayed any actual evidence that proves their hypothesis. Instead, they have chosen to present their theory as a series of criticism’s designed to disprove current evolution theory. They have chosen to litigate in order to force the inclusion of their material into school textbook, and as that has failed, they have now decided to play martyr and cry, “The entire establishment is conspiring against us.” And the reason they have chosen this path, very simply, is because what they present is an article of faith, not science, and can therefore never be proven.

All of this is moot though, I have absolute, unequivocal proof that Mr. Stein is in fact, a descendant of Ape.

“I remember landing under sniper fire,” Clinton initially recalled. “There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony, but instead we just ran with our heads down.”

But CBS News reports a much different story.

When pressed about her obvious fabrication, she explained, “I was tired.”

So, when you’re tired you get delirious and just make shit up? Maybe you’re not the best person to answer that 3AM phone call.