I’m Voting Republican Because…
26 07 2008- I believe that the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
- Because I believe that there are just certain things that people shouldn’t be allowed to see, like those nude pornographic statues in Washington, good thing Mr. Ashcroft got them covered up. Or hear like political dissent, which is why we’ve created “Free Speech Zones”.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that sometimes you have to give up liberties for security. I don’t mind when the government listens to my phone calls without a warrant because, hey, if I’m not doing anything wrong, I have nothing to worry about.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that military force should be our primary means of diplomacy and that anyone who disagrees with us should do so at their own peril.
- I’m voting Republican because I like having a President that believes Wednesday what he believed Monday, no matter what happened on Tuesday.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that business should have absolutely no oversight whatsoever. I think companies like MBNA should write our bankruptcy laws, that predatory lending practices could be solved by deregulation and that the oil companies should help write our energy policy.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that the government has a right to tell me who I should and should not be allowed to fall in love with, I also believe that we shouldn’t have let them uppity niggers around our white women.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that we should continue to promote manufacturing and technical off shoring. Doing so makes goods cheaper so that all the newly unemployed people in America can afford them.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe we need to build a wall on the Mexican border. First to keep all of those illegals from stealing our coveted housekeeping and fruit-picking jobs. Second to keep the terrorists out. Even though the Department of Homeland Security says that there’s a 500% greater chance of terrorists coming from the Canadian border, I don’t care. I just mostly can’t tell them Mexicans and Arabs apart.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that global temperatures are completely unaffected by fossil fuel emissions, that the best way to save the national forests is to allow logging companies to cut down old-growth timber, and the best way to save endangered species is to allow trophy hunters and wildlife traders to import more of them.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that everyone should support the troops - except when it comes to pay or benefits.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that evolution is a myth (despite the evidence of biochemistry and the fossil record) but that Intelligent Design theory should be taught in schools.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that middle class income should be taxed, but capital gains and inherited wealth should not be.
- I’m voting Republican because I believe that Ann Coulter is normal and really a very nice person
