Digital Imagination

One of the things I have not missed since having my portside poo portal installed is sitting down in a public restroom. I’m sure that many of you, if given the opportunity, would gladly take the opportunity to avoid them as well (I doubt you’d go to such lengths to avoid them however).

What kind of Neanderthals are the people who always seem to go into a public toilet before me? Every single WC I go into has piss on the floor, an unflushed commode, no (or inexplicably wet) toilet paper and a smell that can only be described as “New Orleans” Who are these people? Who is it that goes into a bathroom and decides, “I’m just gonna fuck this up for everyone else.”

Even where I work, at a multi-billion dollar corporation with custodians who clean the john’s hourly, someone has taken to wiping their fecal matter on the wall of the stall. It baffles the mind. Do you hate your job, or just the people who have to clean up your filth? What kind of passive-aggressive low-life do you have to be to wipe your ass and rub it on the wall? Who are you shit-rubber? Is this a statement, some sort or art form you’re inventing called shitfitti? Are you checking for worms?

Does your bathroom at home look like this? If you were at a party, would you just take a giant burrito-laden dump and not flush the toilet? No, because you’re a human being and have an unspoken social contract that says, “we clean up after ourselves.” Even cats have the sense to cover up their crap.

But that’s the part that disturbs me, because some people, when faced with an opportunity to destroy something without fear of repercussion, will rub shit on the walls, or piss on the toilet seat, or do God-knows-what to the toilet paper, for no other reason than to make your life miserable.

So, if there’s any bright side to having this bag, if there’s anything I dread, it’s joining the rest of you in the loo.