Top 10 great things about having a colostomy
25 04 200810. Wow, I guess our bodies don’t really process seeds/corn skin/peanuts!
9. Never having to sit down at a public bathroom stall
8. I forget what 8 was for
7. You can pretty much get whatever you want just by threatening to swing the bag around “splattering shit like a drunk on a tilt-a-whirl”.
6. Getting to use the sentence, “I apologize, I recently had an operation that left me unable to control my flatulence, however, I assure you, while it does appear that I dealt it, you won’t have to smelt it.”
5. Seriously, and I can’t stress this enough, you NEVER have to sit down at a public bathroom stall!
4. If you think this bag is full of shit, you should meet my brother-in-law!
3. Whenever anyone anywhere in your vicinity passes gas, you get to make a mad dash to the restroom to make sure you’re not leaking.
2. When your wife/boss is yelling at you for something you did/didn’t do that you didn’t know you wer/weren’t supposed to do, being able to secretly think “I’m pooping right now”.
1. Watching yourself poop is just like seeing George Bush’s domestic policy get prepared.
