Jobs I’d Like to Have : Universal Studio Tour Guide

28 03 2008

“To the left you’ll see the Jaws attraction! This is the last year Universal Studios will be featuring this attraction so that we can make way for rides based off of our newer films. Come back in 2010 to participate in “BrokeBack Mountain 2, Electric Boogaloo: The Ride” where you can feel the rush and excitement of participating in America’s favorite pastime, Hate Crimes! Yes, every visitor will be dressed in nothing but chaps and cowboy hats as they’re mercilessly beaten by sexually repressed rednecks. You won’t know how to quit it! We’ll also be replacing Back to the Future with an attraction based on our hit television show; House called “Emergency Room: The Musical!” As you enter the emergency room you’ll be injected with a mysterious illness. Participate and laugh as a drug addled Hugh Laurie makes bad decision after bad decision gambling on your fate! The musical numbers are to die for! “


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